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Some people come to parenting never having babysat a kid in their lives. Really, someone just hands them a fresh, newborn baby like “Here you go!” No instruction manual or anything. If you know a parent or are one yourself, you know that parents aren’t shy when it comes to getting real about the strShow More
Some people come to parenting never having babysat a kid in their lives. Really, someone just hands them a fresh, newborn baby like “Here you go!” No instruction manual or anything. If you know a parent or are one yourself, you know that parents aren’t shy when it comes to getting real about the struggles and insane realities of parenting. But, do you know what’s up? Like, REALLY what’s up? Bro, have you ever gotten poop in your hair? We rest our case.
Admittedly, babysitting is a part-time gig and parenting is a lifetime commitment, but you should totally test drive a couple of kids before deciding you want to become a parent yourself. It’s nothing like the real thing, but we’ve given you a mixed age bag of crazy with these twelve questions. There are no wrong answers, just what you’d do or not do. So, what kind of parent will you wind up becoming? This quiz has your answers right here!
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1
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Well isn't this cliche? You turn around for one second and the kids are drawing on the walls with permanent marker. Cute! (Ugh) What should you do now?
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Ready?
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Make them clean it up
Make them switch to something less permanent and washable
Compliment their shading and attention to detail
Put them in time out
Clean it up yourself! There’s no way these kids are going to do a good job.
Give up. I give up is what I do.
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2
It's happened to anyone who's changed a diaper. You just got peed on! Soaked, drenched - all in baby pee! How fun? What's your next move?
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Ready?
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Throw my shirt in the dryer and hang out topless for a while. Babies won't know the difference, who cares?
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Grab my spare shirt and get changed. Always come prepared!
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Find a hoodie from the family's closet and put that over the pee stain
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First, cry. Then, let it air dry.
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3
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Why do all kids think phones are toys? Well, this kid dropped your brand new phone in the toilet. Adorable, isn't it? Now what?
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Ready?
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Rescue my phone. The kids don’t know any better, they’re kids!
Yell at them! WTF!!
Rescue the phone, then yell at them.
Tell them why breaking your phone was wrong then make their parents pay to replace it. It’s only fair.
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4
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You spend what seems like forever making this kid some dinner only to have them refuse it because it's "icky." What should you do now?
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Make them a second dinner, but only eat their veggies first.
Say it’s too bad this isn’t a restaurant
Tell them to make their different dinner themselves
Tell them there’s starving children elsewhere who’d love that meal
Make it a game!
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5
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You're playing what seems like a fun game of hide and seek... until these kids lock you in a closet. Crap! Don't panic, but what do you do?
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Chill. They’ll let you out eventually.
Scream
Call 911. They’ll be so spooked when the cops come!
Bribe them with screen time and candy if they let you out
Break the door down
Threaten the kids
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6
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You should've stopped playing hide and seek because these kids are nowhere to be found. ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE. What's your next move, babysitter?
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Ready?
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Call the police
Look everywhere in the neighborhood like they’re a lost dog
Call their parents and freak out
Loudly say it’s a shame they’re not out of their hiding place, so you have to EAT ALL THIS PIZZA YOURSELF… they’ll come out.
Keep looking! They can’t have gone far.
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7
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The school-age children you're babysitting are insisting that they don't know how to wipe themselves in the bathroom. Yeah, right. But, now what?
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Ready?
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Let them have skid-marked underwear. They did this to themselves.
Let them hang out on the toilet until they figure it out themselves
Say if they wipe themselves they get a treat
Call them a baby because only babies don’t know how to wipe themselves
Wipe them, who cares?
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8
Every kid's favorite thing to do: scream. Scream for no reason! Scream for the joy of screaming! WHY NOT?! What's your next move?
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Cover your ears
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Meditate through it
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Just ignore them. They'll tire eventually.
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Scream back
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9
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You let them run to the kitchen real quick for a snack... but it's taking a really long time. You check on them and see they've covered themselves in ketchup and raw eggs. Oh my god, what should you do?
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Ready?
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Give them a bath
Time out, obviously
Make them clean it up
Tell them that’s their snack and that they get no extras
Start a food fight
Take a picture, their parents won’t believe this.
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10
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This kid has an imaginary friend... but this kid describes them as "faceless" and that the "friend" wants you to leave. So chill, not scary at all. AHH! What's next?
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Ready?
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Make the parents come home! This kid is way too creepy
Also talk to this imaginary friend and explain that you’re just there to have fun
Do a kid-friendly exorcism. Maybe they’ll think it’s a game?
Tell them imaginary friends are stupid
Just a lot of crying, screaming, and praying until the parents come back.
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11
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You tell them it's bedtime and they tell you they're not tired. Then they run amuck in their room like crazy banshees. Oh no. Now what?
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Ready?
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Shut the lights and the door, leave.
Say that they don’t have to sleep, but the only rule is they have to be lying down in bed.
Offer to read some stories, then sing lullabies. They’ll be out in fifteen minutes.
Say if they don’t sleep the closet monsters will get them.
Give up. You can’t force anyone to sleep.
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12
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That didn't work. This kid just full-on SLAPPED YOU and said "YOU'RE NOT MY PARENTS!" Oh hell no. What should you do?
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TIME OUT
Remain calm and say that while that’s true, they still need to listen to you.
What did you get? Let us know in the comments!