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Relationships are really great and then they’re not. When you break up with someone, you’re left with all this extra love that you used to channel into this person and now has nowhere to go. So, it sits in you and calcifies. That’s what heartbreak is – it totally sucks. But, nevertheless, these relaShow More
Relationships are really great and then they’re not. When you break up with someone, you’re left with all this extra love that you used to channel into this person and now has nowhere to go. So, it sits in you and calcifies. That’s what heartbreak is – it totally sucks. But, nevertheless, these relationships exist as containers for us to learn and grow and actually, they’re great windows to see what you want in your forever-relationship. Yes, your ex is a version of the person you’re going to marry. Just, take the good bits, learn from the bad, and move on. But where? And to who?
Just tell us a little bit more about your last relationship or your most major ex and we’ll do all that messy clerical work for you! Who wants to do clerical work when it comes to your heart? We do. That sounds fun, actually. So, let us know what went down in your last relationship and we’ll tell you who you’ll get married to!
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NEXT QUESTION BELOW
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1
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When it comes to you and your ex, who said "I love you" first in your relationship?
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I did
They did
We never said it, but I felt it
We never said it because we weren’t in love
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2
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We only care about your side of the story, here. So, rate your break up with this ex.
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Very healthy and mutual
Disappointing, but we both knew this was coming
We were slowly drifting apart. It was death by 1,000 paper cuts.
I was completely blindsided. We had to break up!
It was an ugly, messy break up. Absolutely the worst!
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3
Pick a break up anthem to dedicate to your ex!
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"You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morisette
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"Stay With Me" by Sam Smith
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"Cry Me A River" by Justin Bieber
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"thank u, next" by Ariana Grande
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4
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If you had the opportunity to hook up with your ex one more time, would you be into having break up sex?
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Of course, the sex was really good!
I might, I miss them…
Maybe as a booty call, but only once I feel better.
No, literally never!
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5
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If your ex took truth serum and had to answer only one question for you, which one would it be?
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Do you wish we were still together?
What do you miss the most about me?
What’s your favorite memory of me?
Do you regret how things ended?
Did you ever think we would end up spending the rest of our lives together?
Did you ever cheat on me?
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6
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What do your friends think about your ex now that you've broken up?
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My friends still talk to them
They miss my ex
They hate my ex
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7
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Did you lose anything in the break up? Not like you misplaced them, but what did you lose?
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Material things
A few friends
Weight
A pet
A few places I liked to go to
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8
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Be honest here: who broke up with who? Really.
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I broke up with them
They broke up with me
It was truly 100% mutual
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9
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Which phrase popped up in the middle of your break up? Think back and pull out a key phrase that's stuck with you.
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“We need to talk…”
“So I’ve given this a lot of thought and…”
“We can still be friends…”
“I just don’t feel a connection anymore…”
“I think we’re both looking for different things…”
“You’re such a catch, you’ll be fine…”
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10
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What setting did this break up take place? Where did it all go down?
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Your place
Their place
In public
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11
What brings you much needed relief and release when you're experiencing heart break?
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Crying your face off
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Hooking up with someone else
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Emotional eating
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Buying clothes and expensive spa treatments
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12
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Did you (or are you going to) delete all of the pictures you have together off of social media?
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Yes
No
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13
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In your relationship, what did you two fight the most about?
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Money
Sex
Their lack of ambition
Politics
Jealousy
Infidelity
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14
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Describe your stalking habits on social media. Do you stalk them? When are you lurking on their page?
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Oh, I made a full-on fake account to spy on them.
Only when I miss them
Every so often, not more than I’d visit a friend’s profile
No, it hurts too much.
No it literally doesn’t matter to me – the less I see them, the better!
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15
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How recent was this break up? Or not recent. When did you break up?
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This week
This month
A few months ago
This year
A few years ago
We’re on and off – we’re in a bit of a pattern.
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16
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What would make you feel like you "won" this break up? Just admit you want to win and pick one.
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Having an extreme glow-up
Doing super well at work
Hooking up with someone way hotter
Not saying anything negative about them. Kill ’em with kindness!
Getting them to admit that they were wrong
Getting them to want to get back together with you
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17
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Complete this sentence. Closure is... what?
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Absolutely crucial for moving on
A process that takes time
Unnecessary, abstract, and ultimately means nothing.
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18
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Even if you don't want to, you should say something nice about your ex right now. So just pick a phrase that's most apt for you two.
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They’re great at sex
They’re incredibly kind
They can make anyone laugh
They’re a passionate, deep thinker.
They’re adventurous and they know how to have a good time
They’re romantic
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19
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If you ever saw your ex again, you'd most likely do what?
What did you get? Let us know in the comments!