Tell Us Your Name and We’ll Tell You If the Starbucks Barista Will Screw It Up

Get a job. Get married. Have children. Buy a house. Quit the job. Divorce the spouse. Sell the kids. Keep the house. Fate laps against the beach of life, upending our comfort zones and delivering us, tiny grains of sand, into unfamiliar waters. Whether it’s a cross-country move, military service, or sudden tragedy, you just never know what you’re gonna get. Except with Starbucks!

Because no matter what curveballs life throws at us, we can always take pleasure in the familiarity of knowing the local Starbucks barista will write some strange iteration of our names on the cup of coffee we just ordered. It doesn’t matter if it’s something simple like “Jack” or “Kate”, the barista in the little green cap will feel compelled to scribble out some bizarre spelling of your name, after which you will then watch a different barista in a green cap struggle to spell out in front of the entire store.

So what name do you see on your venti cap? The right letters in correct succession? Or is it some strange, guttural belch – not a name, but a burst of hellish hot gas?

Tell us a bit about your name, and what kind of coffee beverage you order, and we’ll tell you how the barista will write it on the cup! Chances are, you’ve definitely heard it before, so share your results and don’t forget to take a friend to get coffee with!