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We’ve all thought about it. Hopefully, none of us have actually done it. If you’re reading this during your 15 minutes of computer time at San Quentin State Prison… you already know the results of this quiz. For the rest of us living a life of freedom, you just never know when counting down fShow More
We’ve all thought about it. Hopefully, none of us have actually done it. If you’re reading this during your 15 minutes of computer time at San Quentin State Prison… you already know the results of this quiz. For the rest of us living a life of freedom, you just never know when counting down from 20 or your meditation app are going to let you down before you start googling “how to get away with murder.” Oh, and if you didn’t think about clearing your search history, we hope you look good in stripes. Chances are, you’re not cut out for this kind of thing anyway.
Could you *actually* get away with murder? There’s only one way to find out (well, I guess there’s two).
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NEXT QUESTION BELOW
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1
First things first, what’s your motive?
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Ready?
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It’s always about the money.
Classic lovers’ quarrel.
Just to see if I could actually do it.
I hate everyone at work. Picking one person is going to be a challenge.
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2
What’s the first thing you do in the “planning phase”?
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Sharpen my favorite knife… I mean sharpen my wits. Gotta stay alert.
Hit up the ATM. Gonna need some unmarked bills.
Google “Good places to bury a body”
Steal all of my roommate’s black hoodies.
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3
Weapon of choice?
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Poison. They won't find a murder weapon!
Make it look like an accident. It’s the only way you can be sure.
We’ll figure it out when the time is right.
A knife. This is a crime of passion after all.
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4
Who’s in on the secret?
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My BFF. Can’t move a body by yourself, right?
Tbh I’ll probably break down and tell my priest or something.
A family member. They’re the only one that can keep a secret.
No one! Too risky. Then I might have two bodies on my hands…
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5
How many people are we talking about here?
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I carry a list…
You know, a couple here, a couple there.
I need to psych myself up before we even talk about this.
Need to see if I can get away with one murder first.
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6
Ideal location?
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Wherever it needs to happen, it happens.
In the middle of nowhere. As far away from civilization as possible.
At their place. Less effort.
In an alley somewhere. Make it look like a mugging gone wrong.
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7
Best Method of Disposal?
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Have you seen how much trash I can fit in one of those Glad ForceFlex bags?
These are the finer details I don’t care to think about.
Are you kidding me? I’m hiring a cleaner to take care of the messy details.
Maybe one of those barrels they use on Breaking Bad? Those guys seem to know what they’re doing.
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8
So what's your perfect alibi?
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I was at my mom’s. She’ll vouch for me no questions asked.
Hanging with my stoner friends. They’ll probably think I was there anyway.
Self-defense. That one always works… right?
Uhhh I’m pretty good at this. No alibi necessary!
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9
Now that that’s over with, how are we getting away?
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My car obviously. Just… act… normal…
Private jet. I flee with style.
Public transportation. Blend in with the other weirdos.
I don’t know. This was a mistake. Help.
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10
Where do you choose to start your new life?
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New life? Psh what are you talking about? I’m fine here.
Prison, probably.
Take me to Antarctica. I’m getting as far away as possible.
Mexico City. Most populated city in the world. It’ll be like finding a needle in a haystack.
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11
How are you getting the cops off your tail?
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Turn myself in. I can’t deal with the grief!
Cops? What cops? No one saw anything, okay?!
Call 911 from the last working payphone in the US. Give them a false tip.
Rough it in the Appalachians somewhere for a few months. You never saw me.
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12
You’re caught. Now what?
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Start killing people on the inside. Those are easier to get away with.
Not sure… they put me in this straight jacket. What are my options?
Strategically take over the prison economy and become #1 inmate.
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