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Do you ever watch a dog sleep peacefully and fantasize about being able to live that life? Dogs aren’t encumbered with the news cycle, everyone’s Twitter accounts, or living in this political hell-scape. They’re dogs! You want to be a dog too sometimes, don’t you? It’s okay to admit it! Thankfully, Show More
Do you ever watch a dog sleep peacefully and fantasize about being able to live that life? Dogs aren’t encumbered with the news cycle, everyone’s Twitter accounts, or living in this political hell-scape. They’re dogs! You want to be a dog too sometimes, don’t you? It’s okay to admit it! Thankfully, we don’t need a Black Mirror-like species swapper in order to achieve that dream. Instead, we’re giving you this immersive quiz.
Do what dogs do! Wanna poop outside? It’s okay, some nice human is going to pick it up for you (if they’re a good human). But, are you a playful dog or are you a chronic sleeper? Are you temperamental or do you want to befriend everyone in sight? Are you more bark or bite? All of this will effect what kind of dog you are – specifically, what breed. Live your life like you’re a dog so we can see through your eyes. Then, we’ll pan out and reveal what dog you are (on the inside). Ready to get going? GO FETCH!
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NEXT QUESTION BELOW
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1
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Good morning, doggo! How do you wake up in the morning?
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Ready?
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Before the sun rises.
Barking! Keep parking until someone pays attention to me!
I wake up when my owner wakes up.
Whenever I feel like waking up, gosh!
Sleep is life, never wake me up.
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2
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Time to eat. So, do you like wet food or dry food?
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Ready?
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Wet
Dry
I’d like for you to mix them together in a weird ratio, please. I’m picky.
Human food only. Please make me chicken and vegetables in your human kitchen, thank you.
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3
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All dogs have them. What's your relationship like with your owner?
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We’re best friends
I lose my mind if they’re not around!
OBSESSED WITH THEM
They’re my literal parents
They’re more like cool landlords
They’re okay, I guess…
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4
Let's go play! What do you want to play with, now that you're a dog?
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A ball. Let's play fetch!
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Rope toy for tug-of-war
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A squeaky squishy toy
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This cardboard box from Amazon sitting in my house
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5
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Not all dogs play nice. How do you feel about other dogs?
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I try to avoid them if I can.
My sworn enemies!
I bark at them, relentlessly. COME AT ME, BRO.
NEW FRIENDS! YAY!
Depends if these dogs can keep up with me. I can be a little extra.
They’re fine I guess?
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6
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Now, not including your owners, how do you feel about other humans?
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BEST FRIENDS
Must be pounced on immediately
They’re not allowed to stop petting me. It’s how I establish dominance.
Never to be trusted until I see that my humans like them first.
GET AWAY FROM ME. NO NEW FRIENDS.
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7
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If you had to pick one word to describe your personality (as a dog), what would it be?
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Enthusiastic
Intellectual
Sweet
Passionate
Loyal
Neurotic
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8
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All dogs have different levels of activity. What kind of exercise do you like/need?
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A long run with my owner.
The dog park is just fine.
A walk sounds great.
Running in laps in the backyard.
Leave me in the house and don’t bother me!
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9
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On a scale from literal furry lump to prima donna, how high maintenance are you?
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Get with me or get out!
I’m definitely high maintenance and proud of it.
I mean you can’t ignore me, but it’s whatever.
I’m fairly low key.
I’m the most low maintenance to ever be maintained.
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10
Time for a snack! Pick your mid-day treat, you dog.
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Kitchen scraps
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Dog bone
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Dog treats
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GRASS. YOLO.
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11
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If you had your way, what's the first thing you'd get to do in the morning?
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Eat
Go for a walk
Play
Sleep
Get a BELLY RUB!
Snuggle up in bed
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12
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Time to do a trick! Dealer's choice. You do you, dog. What's your favorite trick in the book?
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Ready?
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Sit
Lay down
Shake
Roll over
Play dead
HAH, GUESS AGAIN! YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
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13
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Now it's time to take a nap. Where are you snoozing in the middle of the afternoon?
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Ready?
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Floor
Bed
Couch
In a sunspot by the window like a cat, don’t judge me.
On top of a human
I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
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14
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Bark at something. Don't stop barking until you've vanquished this foe! Wait, what are you barking at anyway?
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Ready?
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The guy delivering Amazon packages.
The dog next door.
A random noise.
A bad feeling I have that’s located in the closet. I’m mostly in it to scare my humans, it’s a lot of fun you should try it.
A squirrel.
A bad dream. I bark in my sleep sometimes.
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15
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It's okay, most dogs do it, but we have to ask. Do you shed?
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Yes, it’s embarrassing.
Yes, it’s how I mark my territory.
No, and I’m proud of it!
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16
If you were a dog that got to pick their collar, which one would you rock?
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This spiky one
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This red one
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This leather one
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This pink one
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17
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No one's perfect, including dogs. What's your main vice/bad habit?
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Chewing clothes and shoes.
Going to the bathroom in the house.
Not listening to my owner.
Going places I’m not supposed to like the kitchen or on the couch.
I’m a little aggressive?
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18
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You're such a good dog. What would mean the most to you as a canine companion?
What did you get? Let us know in the comments!