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Uh-oh! Looks like you’ve bit off more than you can chew — or in this case, drink — because you’re stuck on a booze-free cruise ship bound for the Caribbean without a nip in sight. This is no good. What are you gonna do? The crew will make you walk the plank if they find you sneaking into theShow More
Uh-oh! Looks like you’ve bit off more than you can chew — or in this case, drink — because you’re stuck on a booze-free cruise ship bound for the Caribbean without a nip in sight. This is no good. What are you gonna do? The crew will make you walk the plank if they find you sneaking into the Captain’s liquor cabinet, and you’re too far from the shoreline to swim. Looks like you’re just gonna have to grit your teeth and make it through this cruise sober.
When you bought tickets for your seven-sea excursion, you expected to lay by the pool, take in the panoramic views, and sip Margaritas and Mai Tai’s until the sun creeps up over the horizon. Unfortunately, you didn’t read the fine print on the ticket that said “FAMILY CRUISE – NO ALCOHOL.” Rascally kids are running wild through the halls of the cruise ship, and a toddler already spilled grape juice on your white pants. Ugh. This is gonna be tough.
But you can do it! Just think of all the other delights the ship has to offer: All-You-Can-Eat buffets, a waterslide, live performances, and the natural splendor and gravity that is the ocean. Can you last the entire cruise without disembarking at port to grab a quick drink? Take this quiz and find out!
Share your teetotaled results, and don’t forget to tag a friend to sneak in a six pack!
Show Less
NEXT QUESTION BELOW
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1
Congratulations! You've won a FREE CRUISE and you get to pick the location!
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Ready?
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Alaska
Mexico
The Caribbean
The Mediterranean
The Rhine River
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2
One catch: you can't drink alcohol on this cruise. Are you okay with that?
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Ready?
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I’ll be fine. I don’t drink!
That’s a bummer, but I guess I’ll manage.
WHAT?! I’m sneaking a bottle in my luggage.
NOOOO! Get me out of here!
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3
As you board the cruise ship, you notice a crew member inspecting bags. You got anything to hide?
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Ready?
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Nothing! I’m clean
A bottle of whiskey
A couple shooters of liquor
I didn’t pack anything, but I’ll ask around in case anyone did!
Booze, weed, fireworks – the list goes on…
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4
The staterooms are divided according to preferred bedtime. Pick your time slot!
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9 PM
11 PM
Midnight
2 AM
4 AM
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5
Which activities are you looking forward to on your week-long excursion?
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Unlimited buffet.
Live entertainment.
The ocean views.
Laying by the deck pool.
Docking at various islands.
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6
As the sun dips over the horizon, you remember you are sober on a cruise. When do you like to start drinking on party days?
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After lunch.
Happy Hour 5-7.
With dinner.
Not until later in the evening.
You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning!
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7
The First Mate has gone rogue and has started pouring shots. Do you take one?
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Yes!
No!
I’ll take two!
As long as the Captain isn’t looking…
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8
You are sitting by the pool, dreaming about a cocktail you CAN'T have. What is it?
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Straight whiskey
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Margarita
Glass of Wine
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Beer
Soda
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9
You dock on land and get to explore an island. What are your plans?
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Ready?
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Go see the historical exhibits.
Go meet the locals!
Go on a biking tour of the area.
Get drunk at a local bar while I can.
Buy “supplies” for when I get back to the ship…
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10
Uh-oh! A deckhand is administering breathalyzer tests when you re-board. How do you pass?
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Easy – I didn’t drink!
I soaked up the wine with lunch…
I will offer to stand on one foot.
I’ll try to recite the alphabet backwards – I’ve done it before!
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11
The cruise-ship comedian is bombing HARD. How do you deal with the bad jokes?
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Ready?
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Go back to my stateroom.
Hey! I like knock-knock jokes!
I’ll take a sip from the flask in my pocket.
I’m probably drunk, so I’ll heckle and boo.
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12
Lights out! Which method is most effective for helping you fall asleep at night?
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Reading
Watching TV
Meditating
Getting intoxicated to some degree.
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13
The breakfast buffet will be open from 6-8 AM. Will you make it in time?
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Nope! I’ll be sleeping.
I’ll have to drag myself out of bed…
I’ll make the last hour.
Of course! I’m always awake by that time.
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14
Time to play games with your fellow passengers! Which one sounds the most fun?
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Ready?
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Volleyball
Bocce Ball
Poker
Limbo
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15
Next up is Karaoke hour! What are you going to sing?
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Ready?
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Nothing…I’m sober
“I Wanna Be Sedated”
“Sweet Caroline”
“Don’t Stop Believin'”
“My Way”
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16
Take a deep breath, 'cuz you're going snorkeling! Which sea creature are you most looking forward to seeing?
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Shark
Tropical fish
Sea turtle
Coral
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17
According to rumor, the Captain has a bottle of booze stashed away in the cockpit. Do you investigate?
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Ready?
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For the last time, no! I’m a well-behaved guest.
I’ll try to make friends with the Captain and see what happens.
I’ll sneak in and pour a shot when the Captain goes to dinner
Why risk it? I still have my own hidden stash.
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18
A nosy kid caught you drinking and tattle-tailed to the crew. How do you proceed?
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Ready?
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Finish off my stash and hide!
Offer the deckhand a sip to keep quiet.
Speak the kid’s parents about his disrespectful behavior!
I’m innocent! The kid must have me confused with someone else.
What did you get? Let us know in the comments!